Testing Absurdity

When I first started teaching thirty years ago, the state test was a pencil and paper bubble test. It was spread over a three day period, one hour at a time. The results came back a few weeks later and they were used to inform practice. If our students showed weakness on, say, “locating information,” we knew where we needed to beef up our instruction.  I have no issue with testing students in such a way. These days, however, standardized testing seems to be cumbersome, expensive, bureaucratic, punitive, and time-consuming.              

Frankly, it’s absurd.

At my schools we’re trying to compensate by cramming in all the enjoyable and authentic learning experiences we can. Right now our students are deeply engaged in The Checkbook Project, my free financial literacy / behavioral management / practical math system. Students in our 4th and 5th grade classes have been managing their bank accounts since mid-February, renting or purchasing their desk space, applying for jobs, paying taxes, and buying stuff at auction. As we head into the final trimester, they’ll be starting businesses, buying stocks, and donating to actual charities. This program dominates their every moment in class. When they’re well into adulthood, they’ll reflect on “Checkbooks” as a significant piece of their elementary education.

Our Fact Car Rally Race math facts program is winding down. About a third of the students have either already crossed the finish line or are drawing near the checkered flag. Another third of the class is on pace to demonstrate mastery by year’s end. That leaves the remaining kids in need of tow trucks and roadside mechanics to help catch them up.

Of course, we’re also doing all the customary kinds of work: fractions, figures of speech, physical fitness—and writing. You know kids: they’ll limit their written responses to a single paragraph—or even a single sentence if they can get away with it. But that won’t do given the emphasis on writing multi-paragraph responses on that absurd state test mentioned earlier. So, we’re using my Perfect Paragraphs program to show kids how to expand single paragraphs into multi-paragraph essays. By teaching them how to use their “reason why” supporting sentences as topic sentences for the additional paragraphs, they’re better prepared for that darn test, and more importantly, their future school years.

Despite political controversy, we’re delving into slavery.  I’m convinced the likes of Harriet Tubman, Harriet Beecher Stowe, and Dred Scott should be and can be shared tactfully. Among other things, we’ll be reading my researched-based reader’s theater scripts about Box Brown and Juneteenth.   

Speaking of theater, we’re preparing a full stage presentation of my play The Nose, replete with a giant papier-mâché nose costume. It’s based on Gogol’s classic short story of the same name and it’s full of mind-bending humor about bureaucratic absurdity. It’ll take a couple of months to put it all together, but it’ll make for a mind-bending conclusion to a yet another school year full of silliness and absurdity—all the stuff kids remember after all that standardized testing has been forgotten.

To check out any of my programs for use this year or next, visit my storefronts at TpT or Etsy. Be sure also to visit my school page, DailyPlatypus.org.   

Happy directing!

Build better Readers, Writers, and Math Masters from Day One

My Fact Car Rally program is overdue for an update, but that doesn’t mean you can’t snag a copy right now and use it to lead your elementary students toward mastery of the math facts. When the update comes out, you’ll have full access to the revision. Did I say that kids love Fact Car Rally? They do! Much more so than competing programs—and it’s more effective, too! Follow the simple directions to create your racetrack during pre-service week, and then give your kids some low-key time during Week One to create their “fact cars.” By the second week, your students will be well on their way to true mastery of the facts–the foundation of all things math. Preview or purchase FCR here, and be sure to check out the tutorial video here.

In addition to building math masters, build better writers in grades 3 through 7 with my Super Sentences and Perfect Paragraphs program. It’s a teacher-friendly, student-friendly, daily writing method—the only thing you’ll need all year. No complicated teacher editions to wade through. No workshops to attend. It’s practically plug and play! Check out both the full version, the various ala-carte pieces, and the tutorial videos.

If you’ve never read my shtick about repetitive reading and how read aloud plays build beautiful readers, check it out here, and then snag some fun plays plays to start the year.  Peter Rabbit, Nature Talks Back, and my latest, a “slightly twisted” version of The Pied Piper (see previous post) are all fantastic icebreakers. They’re all available on my TpT storefront.

While you’re there, don’t forget that Halloween is just around the corner, so grab copies of The Monkey’s Paw, Tell-Tale Heart, the Birth-mark, or the Mad Scientist’s Daughter for your Gothic RT!

Happy directing!

Fun, Simple, and Sustainable!

Technology has it benefits, but sometimes I wish I could go back to teaching the way it was when there were blackboards, 35 mm film projectors, and life-threatening playground structures. Ah, simpler times! Wasn’t all this new-fangled technology supposed to make things simpler? You’re probably thinking that in many ways it has and in other ways it’s made thing massively over-complicated. Whatever the case, it reminds me that all the products I post on TpT, I’ve created out of a need for materials that are a.) kid-centric (I want my students to love being in my class); b.) easy-to-use (I don’t want to wade through a massive teacher’s edition to figure out how to do something); and c.) sustainable (I want regular routines that won’t keep me up at night). Simple. With all that in mind, here are a few items you’ll want right from day one of the new school year.

Fact Car Rally Race. Mastery of the math facts is the foundation of all things math, so a program that keeps kids focused on truly memorizing their tables is essential. In Fact Car Rally, students create their race cars during the first week of school and spend the year progressing around the race route as they pass fact quizzes—addition and subtraction for youngers, multiplication and division for olders. “Way better than Rocket Math,” say kids and teachers alike!

Super Sentences & Perfect Paragraphs. No need for expensive textbooks, software licenses, or complicated teacher editions! Everything you need for an entire year’s writing program is right here in one, easy-to-use and engaging package. Try out a free sample by clicking here, and if you like it, snag Volume 1 from Scholastic Teaching Resources (it’s cheap), or my new Vol. 2, which will be available on TpT soon.

EZSubPlans. Be prepared for that emergency absence by prepping your plans now, before you’re desperate. It’s easy with EZSubPlans—just click, print, and relax! There are sets for 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th grades, but they’re largely interchangeable. In fact, I use all four sets at fifth grade, meaning I’m already covered for up to eight emergency absences. Eight!

Why Use Drama? My free reader’s theater primer outlines ways to make Read Aloud Plays work for you. Take a look, and then download a couple especially fun plays to break the back-to-school ice such as Peter Rabbit, Two Plays from The American Revolution, and Ponce de Leon and the Fountain of Youth.

Have a great school year and—Happy Directing!